


Jumping Hurdles in a Three Year Kinkathlon

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crossdressing, Foot Fetish, Multi, Rimming, Tentacles, Threesome - F/F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-13
Updated: 2013-02-13
Packaged: 2017-11-29 04:53:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/683007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You always think you got it together until you don't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jumping Hurdles in a Three Year Kinkathlon

alright seamstressiah hows this?

Dave spun around, the ruffles of his red dress billowing as he turned. Kanaya bit down on her lip with her ivory white fangs, her golden eyes completely fixated.

I Believe I Need To Tighten The Waist Binder Just A Little Bit More

She stood up abruptly from her fold out chair and hurried towards him.

again for reals? this corset is tighter than the democratically sick grinds of obama. wait hang on i made an obama joke eight hours ago and its only a half rhyme with tighter. fuck. alright gimme a sec. tighter than the punches of a world boxing fighter. wait is tight even applicable there? i know a wide punch is a bad thing, probably, but is a tight punch a good thing? surely bro mentioned this at least on-hurk!

Through his rambling he hadn't noticed the glowing troll untying his corset, so when she pulled the drawstrings tiaught it caught him off guard and unaware.

jegus fuck kanaya do you want me to suffocate? i actually have to take a breath now between every sentence. look at what you've done to me. you truly are a monster. my aspiring comedic genius has been forever stemmed. like that one tree in the bible that was a metaphor for that one king dude. what was his name? hansel?

He gasped exaggeratedly between each sentence, and when Kanaya was done tying the strings he turned to face her.

okay so has this thing got enough frills or does it still fail to filter air from seawater?

Kanaya bit her finger gently and looked him up and down 

Must You Wear Those Sneakers?

sure i do. red dress red sneakers. thats coordination.

But They Are So

She trailed off. Dave raised one thick eyebrow above his aviators. Funny how they stayed with his ascension. Something about one's image he imagined. If his image drastically changed in future would they vanish? Or would it be the kind of thing dramatically tossed aside manually if the time came? Those were the kinds of questions that kept him up at night.

you wanna get me in heels you gotta make it my while

I Will Give You A Three Hundred And Fifty Mililiter Box Of Applejuice If You Do This For Me

sold. get those ankle killers on me.

Dave sat down on her floor and got to work undoing his big red sneakers. His bony behind grew quickly sore against the floor, and not for the first time he wished trolls had beds as a thing. There was the pile of fabric but that had a bad habit of being filled with enough stray pins to draw blood, and there are only so many times you can have an alien vampire sucking at your thigh before you start to suspect foul play. Well, it could be worse he was sure.

By the time his sneakers were off, Kanaya had returned with the goods.

juice first then murdershoes.

If I Gave You The Apple Fluid First You Could Run Away Without Upholding Your End Of The Bargain. On The Other Appendage Once You Get Those Shoes On I Have No Reason To Go Anywhere

yeah you have freaky trollpire speed and i do not buy that for even a minute. just chuck me the damn goods.

Kanaya tossed him both the shoes and the fruit juice, and stepped over as unsubtly as possible between Dave and the door, legs wide, hand on her hips and elbows jutted out to take up as much space as possible.

you know your cute in a dorky way when you want something badly enough

He popped the straw into the juice and took a long, deep sip of it while he slid the first shoe on with one hand. he fumbled and slipped, the shoe skidding off with a curse.

Ah. Allow Me.

Kanaya slipped forward. Slipped was the only word Dave had for it. It wasn't like the flashtep his Bro had taught him. That was basically jumping horizontally really fast and letting people's eyes fool themselves. When Kanaya turned her speed on you saw her take the first beginning step, then the rest of the space between her and the destination seemed to just politely move aside for her. 

She took the fallen shoe in one hand and rubbed his foot with her thumb in the other. Having his feet touched, it didn't do much in itself for Dave, sure it felt nice but that was entirely detatched, but that focused, flushed look Kanaya got whenever she was worked up was enough to give him a kink on by proxy. She forced the tension out of his sole one stroke at the time and the lidded look she got when she was really into it left his lips dry and his throat parched. Dave gulped down the rest of his juice box and coughed.

so hey, shoes am i right?

Oh Yes. Right. Shoes.

Her fangs dug into her green painted lips as she positioned the shoe and slid it on. It was hard to tell if she was peaking over finally having the foot properly dressed or disappointed at having to hide it away. The other shoe followed, but not before the jade blood lavished manual attention over his other foot. Her dextrous, talented fingers probed his sole and dug right into the tense muscles. She leaned a little further forward, and took the two middle toes into her mouth with a wet smeck.

rose mentioned this once. oral fixation right? does it still count when youre a trollpire or do you have it because youre a trollpire?

Kanaya replied by digging her fangs into his foot just deep enough to draw blood and make him gasp with pain. It was impossible to tell which excited her more. 

so before you go well underway to japanaraping my foot down there werent we uh, you know, supposed to be modeling this dress here?

She sulkily popped his toes from her mouth and with little gentility shoved the other shoe on.

Yes That Is The Reason I Ostensibly Had You Come Here For

kanaya if you don't stop pouting right now i will tear these clothes off right now and wear nothing but shiny green glittered zoot suits for the rest of the year

Both Kanaya's hands flew to her mouth and her golden eyes widened in abject terror.

You Would Not Dare

trust me virgo i could go hangliding on those shoulderpads

I Will Be Stoic As A Boulder

that's the spirit. now you made it significantly harder to breath and put my feet in torture devices. do you think that works with this ensemble or should we make some changes?

Dave stepped back and did a curtsy. Still unusued to the gesture he lifted his skirt just a bit too high.

I Think

yes?

I Think I Have Made A Grave Error

shit is it the bow? the bow did it i bet you.

No It Is Not The Bow. It Is The Panties.

wrong color? the tiny bow? my gut says its a bow somewhere

You Are Wearing Them

fuck

Kanaya slid forward. One hand thrust Dave's head into her chest while the other snaked beneath his dress and tugged at the band of his undergarments. Instead of just sliding them down, she pulled them too hard and too fast in her excited state and snapped them right off.

sweet fuck that smarts. have i done something to piss you off or-

He was cut off by Kanaya's tongue forcing its way into his mouth. His body stiffened in reflexive panic, then relaxed in surrender to the fate in store for him. As long as he was being taken for a ride he might as well enjoy himself. He clasped one hand firmly around her buttocks and squeezed. Few trolls lead a cushy lifestyle, and Kanaya grew up doing gardening by hand and killing zombies. Her ass was toned and firm to touch. It wasn't hard, but it resisted when you squeezed it in a very satisfying to the touch manner. That was Dave's official verdict on it. 

Careful not to damage the dress, Kanaya lowered him to the ground and reached under his skirt. He was already halfway hard and the way she squeezed him gently with her fingers made him blush like an idiot. 

shit

He suddenly cursed. Kanaya fell backwards, eyes wide in alarm

Did I Do Something Wrong?

what? no. i just realized i said japanaraping back there. that would have worked so much better on rose but if i use it now ill now and that will ruin the whole thing. fuck now that phrase is gonna be sitting in the back of my head forever and i need like five new unused puns just to drown it out

Dave

Kanaya stood up, and undid the three big white buttons on her work skirt.

yeah kanaya?

As They Say In Your Human Movies Shut Up And Eat Me

The virgo troll dropped her skirt behind her, pulled her panties to the side and, blushing, lowered herself to kneeling just atop Dave's face. Something something bold? forward? No time to come up with a nerve settling quip, Dave just threw himself to work. He placed his hands over her naked thighs to hold himself steady and ran his tongue up and down her labia. He took a deep breath, taking in her scent, then swirled his tongue around her emerging clit till he elicited an open gasp from her. Once he got that from her, Dave redoubled his efforts, storming her cunt with his tongue.

Kanaya grit her teeth and shuddered. It was way too early for her just yet. She lifted up her shirt, exposing her modest breasts to the room's cool ventilation, and hiked up Dave's skirt till his groin was exposed. She leaned down, and ran her nose along his shaft's length, taking in the smell of blood and semen within it. Her craving commanded her to bite right down and drain the organ dry, but Kanaya resisted. To do so would be a terrible waste. Instead she grasped the gentle folds of his dress and wrapped it around his erect penis. The flinch from the sudden contact run right up his body and along his tongue to inside her in a most appreciable manner. Steadying herself, Kanaya adjusted her grip of the dress cloth and began stroking him with it, jerking him off with the white lace of his fine red dress. 

Dave This Dress Looks Wonderful On You The Collar Really Brings Out Your Neck And Cheeks And Tresses Make Your Legs Like Oh Woah

Kanaya clenched her eyes and bared her teeth as a small orgasm shot through her. She wiggled her hips atop Dave's head and ground her pussy against his face as a modest load of jade trollcum spilled down his throat and across his lips. She lost her balance and pitched forward, her bare ass held in air as it trickled the last of her orgasm onto Dave's lip. He gulped down a throatful of her fluids, then gulped down a mouthful of air and gasped. 

dying under the bodacious ass of a hot alien chick is neither just nor heroic right?

He asked, idly stroking her dripping snatch. She replied with a flick to his glans.

okay ow jeez i was just kidding.

Dave took his finger, wet with her juices, and wiggled it against her asshole above him. He managed to get it in up to the first knuckle before she clenched up, and when he did he very slowly began to apply pressure.

Dave Please. I Got A Little Carried Away But I Really Should Get Back To Work.

oh no dave strider is not just some aj operated tongue ride. now wheres my pound of ass?

He pulled out his finger, leaned forward and thrust his tongue to her puckered hole.

Da-Ha-Ha-Ha-Have!

 

Kanaya squirmed atop of him, balling her fists, but made no attempt to get up. Every time she started to get a thought Dave's tongue did another little twirl inside her and left her mind a clean slate. All that remained was the sight of the thigh before her, not touched by any sun for years now. She could clearly see the best spot to get the sweetest blood safely. All she had to do was just, sorta, reach out and...

 

Dave froze when her fangs sank into his thigh. The hot, sharp feeling of being punctured blossomed square in the middle of his focus. Lighting shot back and forth across his waist and something somewhere went a click too far. 

He came. He came from this alien vampire chick sinking her fangs into his leg and it was hardly the first time she'd done that but it was the first time it had caused him to do this and he was humping the air every time she sucked out another mouthful of blood, his blood, and why oh why was this hot? His hot, sticky cum shot up in the air then fell back down, either on his pubes or against his legs and oh shit some of it just landed in her hair. 

When she'd drank her fill, just enough to leave Dave more than a bit light headed, Kanaya pulled away, and a glob of warm white fluid landed right against her cheek. Still caught up in her bloodrapture, she smeared it onto her hand and lapped it up. Once she came down enough to think clearly, she quickly recognized the taste. Her eyes widened slightly and she turned.

Dave Did You Just?

shit shit shit shit

His whole face was bright red, and his mouth opened and closed like a marionette.

Dave Are You Okay?

shit shit shitfuck fuck

He scrambled backwards on his hands and knees from underneath her, and leapt to his feet.

oh sweet fuck i am so i mean uh i gotta go

Dave ran out the door, his high heels clacking loudly against the metal flooring. After a few seconds, Kanaya sat down on the floor, staring vacantly at nothing in her underwear.

Was It Something I Said?

 

 

Rose could commune directly in the broodfester tongues of the horrorterrors themselves, but no matter how many times Dave burst through her bedroom door babbling something at incomprehensibly high speeds she was never any closer to parsing it. However the red dress and high heels he wore this time did not fail to catch her eye.

Dave slow down, and start from the beginning.

actually you know what now that more than ten seconds have passed it seems really really really dumb can i just use your shower and leave?

Rose closed her book and placed it down, looking Dave in the shades.

And just what, pray tell, is wrong with your shower?

a stupid thing involving bubble bath inside showerheads also sometimes i think i can hear gamzee in the pipes.

Rose looked him up and down, at the green smear on his toes visible through the toeless high heels, at the awkward crumbling of his skirt that needed smoothing down, at his unkempt hair and uneven shades, the furious blush about his face and the green stains about his lips. Rose uncrossed and crossed her legs.

Dave.

yesm

Why is it that I smell sex from you?

well i say a convincing snappy quip that convinces you and lets me use your shower with no further questions. that is what happens here yes

Dave talk to me, I'm your sister.

Rose leaned back on her arms, which not so coincidentally caused her chest to stick out.

not helping rose

Dave.

like i said it sounds really dumb now and i may have actually fucked up

Dave please, talk to me.

She patted her bed beside her and beckoned him to sit down. After a bit of reluctance he complied. The bed dipped down a bit further with two people on it. Rose held his head to her shoulder and ran her fingers through his soft hair.

Now tell sister Rosy what happened.

but its dumb

No matter what it is I promise not to laugh.

Dave took a deep breath, and closed his eyes behind his shades.

kanaya sucked blood from my leg and i accidentally jizzed all over her hair

Rose pensively coiled his hair around her finger.

So you ran from the room like a soiled virgin without offering so much as an explanation, is that right?

well when you put it like that im even more of a hornses ass

I'm sorry, I'm not seeing what the problem is, just a little bukkake between friends.

She gently placed her hand on his thigh and gave it a comforting squeeze.

i panicked. since when did i get off on getting stabbed by teeth? what if it happens every time? i walk down the street heading to the store kanaya swings by for a bite to eat i blow my load in front of everyone and need new pants

Dave, I assure you that is patently ridiculous. When would you ever go out to...

Rose trailed off, distracted by the slowly pitching tent in the front of his dress. She had to admit, it looked very fetching on him. With a wry smirk, she reach back to her laptop and typed up a message. With one more click it was sent.

Dave what if you weren't wearing pants? If you were wearing a skirt like this one, why, no one could even tell you'd had an orgasm. Not unless they read your body language.

Her dainty finger danced across his lap, and pressed down against his growing hardness.

rose jesus christ i come here to be put at ease and you put the moves on me?

Dave leaned back, face rapt in alarm, but Rose held him against her.

I'm sorry Dave but you're just so vulnerable. What if it wasn't on the street? What if it was at a family dinner? Naturally Kanaya is there, because she's part of the family by now, and mother is there too, our mother. Now because no meal is complete for Kanaya without a taste of the vitae she leans over and sinks her fangs behind your collarbone. What then? Now you are ejaculating right in front of mother. She has had a few to drink and she can smell it but she just smiles knowingly and licks her lips.

rose, get out of my head

He whimpered. Rose took the opportunity to flip his dress up and grab hold of his painfully rigid erection. Her slender fingers curled around it with gentle grace, her thumb rubbing across the tip of his glans.

How many, Dave? How many kinks and perversions will you be inflicted with by the time of our journey's end? There's not much else to do between dream bubbles but collect them like trading cards, and I do so love guiding you through each and every one. Tell me what you don't yet love and I can teach you to worship it.

She breathed heavily down his neck, and took his earlobe into her mouth, sucking down on it. The room grew chill by several distinct degrees, and Dave felt something cool and moist snaking up his exposed leg.

You were so scared to look up back on Derse. Didn't want to look the terrors in the eye, didn't want to hear their sweet whisperings. I taught you to crave their gentle touch. Would you like it now? That all knowing touch that never fails to make you weak at the knees?

Dave didn't look down. He refused to look down. He could not stop himself, however, from looking up at Rose. Her face had been stained ashen beneath her cowl with the horrorterror taint that never truly left. She licked her plump black lips with a too-long tongue and cooed, her thumb tracing circles around his urethra. 

Dave. Dave say something. Let me hear your lovely voice.

She pouted, a look of hurt on her face. 

I guess I'll have to earn it then.

A tentacle of shadows slipped up over Dave's shoulder, and plucked the shades from his face. At the same time, the other slick tentacle coiled round his leg had reached his anus, and began to slide its way inside of him. Dave cried out, his hips rolling forward at the penetration, and Rose basked in his wanton expression now exposed to the world.

As the tentacle slipped deeper inside of him, Rose adjusted her grip on his penis and began stroking him more vigorously. 

How does it feel Dave? How does it feel to have me so deep inside of you. You feel so hot in my hand. Like you're burning up.

Dave moaned, his hands digging in to the bed beneath him. There was a knock on the door, and his whole body flinched. Rose's grin spread as she felt him grow even harder in her hand.

Who is it, Dave? Who can it be? Who is about to watch you getting jerked off in a dress by your sister while she fucks you up the ass. Tell me, Dave. Who is it? You're so delectable when the cat's got your tongue like this. Let me find it.

She pressed his lips against hers and invaded his mouth with her too long tongue. Elongated by grimdark majyyks it writhed and coiled its way deep down his throat. 

The door swung open and in stepped Kanaya, still clad in only her shirt and underwear, holding her own arm by her side. Her eyes widened at the spectacle before her and her hand flew to her mouth. Dave whimpered against the intrusive organ filling his mouth and came. Ropes of thick spunk arced through the air, falling in a white line from him to Kanaya. Rose kept pumping his cock till he was completely spent, staring right into his eye the whole time.

Oh My

Rose broke away from his face, and slurped her tongue all the way back into her mouth, licking her lips.

I'm glad you could make it Kanaya. Dave wanted to apologise for running out like that. You do now how he gets. He can be perfectly calm and composed until something reminds him he has no idea what he's doing. You have to guide him by the hand through every new self-discovery, but it is so terribly endearing, don't you say?

Um Shouldnt This Explanation Or A Pail I Mean Apology Or Whatever It Indeed Is Or Is Not Be Something He Tells Me For Himself? I Mean

The jadeblood's eyes darted back and forth about the spectacle, not knowing where best to look; at Rose's dainty hands expertly teasing Dave's shaft, at the way one of the shoulders of his dress had slipped down, the way he neck pulsed as he gasped for breath, the way Rose kept licking her black lips with that dexterous appendage. Kanaya's blush spread all the way to her ears, and her increasingly damp panties hugged the outline of her swollen seed flap.

As you can see, Dave is a little, unf, indisposed of some faculties.

Rose bit her lip, and Dave squeaked as the amoeboid appendage inside him thickened right against his prostate. He mouthed silent protests but his voice was swallowed by the sizzling ache throughout his loins. Kanaya stepped forward, making no effort to avoid stepping in the cooling cum splatter on the floor. She cupped Dave's cheek and brushed her thumb across his lip.

Dave What Is It? Talk To Me

He stuttered and mumbled and babbled but still no words came out. The tentacle inside him shifted and twitched like an unchecked hose, and four more tentacles rose up from his ectosister's broodfester throes to reposition him upon her lap. They raised him up like he was made of feathers, and pulled him tight against her chest. Steadily, his virility was tormented back to life, and his aching penis rose to be submitted to yet further torment. Kanaya's nose flared at the thick musk of the strilonde's union, and she fumbled for her panty's hem.

Please, allow me.

Another slick, black tentacle grew from the shadows and delicately tugged the troll's panties all the way down to her ankles. She carefully stepped out of them, and gingerly stroked one finger up and down Dave's frenulum.

May I?

Come on Dave, you have to speak.

i...

He squirmed on Rose's lap, causing his dress to sway from side to side.

Yes?

i...

Go On

Kanaya drew closer, glowing eyes locked on his unguarded face.

oh god fuck kanaya yes. rose is touching me in places that dont even exist and shes so deep i think i might choke on it and shes drawing it out so long i think im going crazy please just put me in already before i go out of my miiiiind

You heard the gentleman. It would be rude to keep such a pretty young man waiting.

Rose slipped her hand down his front and stroked his chest though the dress. She carefully repositioned Dave's legs with her tentacles, so Kanaya had a place to sit. The sylph stood above his groin, and with her hand manually lowered herself on to his pulsing shaft. Dave bucked uncontrollably at the first touch of their flesh and slipped the rest of the way inside of her. Kanaya took a deep breath and relaxed, letting herself get used to the knight's girth inside of her. 

How does it feel Kanaya?

It Feels Wonderful.

Kanaya placed her hands on Dave's thighs to steady herself, and leaned forward to cover his lips and face with jade kisses.

Do you hear that Dave? You're wonderful. However, Kanaya, let me not leave all the work to my darling brother.

The tentacle that pulled her panties down snaked up Kanaya's leg, coiled around her thigh and squeezed her broad hips before sliding back down between the cleft of her pert buttocks. The moist flagellum quickly found the sylph's other hole and began working its way inside.

Oh Rose

Kanaya's breath escaped her and she slumped forward, resting her head on Dave's shoulder. Smiling, Rose leaned forward to press her lips against the troll's fanged mouth. 

You are both so beautiful.

She shifted her head slightly and kissed Dave along the neck. Kanaya and Dave were both rolling their hips now, grinding against each other and Rose's insertion. Their hot, heavy panting filled the room and the three clung to each other desperately.

oh fuck i cant

Come on Dave. You're doing so good. You're so pretty and brave. Let us love you.

Rose, their limbs entwined, clasped Dave's hand in her own and squeezed. The protrusions inside both him and Kanaya swelled thicker still, making them both gasp aloud.

Rose Dave Im Pailing Oh Mothegrub

Kanaya's whole body curled tight around her lovers, and sluices of bright green fluid gushed out from her.

The Dress!

Quick to act, Rose shot countless tiny tendrils of shadow to where the knight and sylph were joined. They wrapped around his penis and slid up past it to inside the troll, blanketing her inside and inner thighs with sleek, latex-like blackness that throbbed and pulsed as it drank up her fluids.

kanaya i

He gasped, words escaping him.

Dave?

You can say it Dave. You can trust us completely.

Rose squeazed his hand, and ran a tentacle through his hair. He gulped. 

bite me. right on the neck. suck my blood.

But I Have Already Fed On You Today

im a god. I can take it. just do it please.

He looked up at Kanaya panting, pleading, his unshielded red eyes hungry with need. Without any further thought the rainbow drinker to her mouth to his neck, gave it a marking lick, and sank her fangs into his tanless flesh. Crimson vitae bloomed from the wound, and his eyes clenched shut with a moan.

oh sweet blue blessing fuck i fuck fuck

His mind lit up and sent him soaring, all his nerves burned and his final load erupted into Kanaya; his dick doubly squeezed by both the troll's muscles and Rose's shadow, his prostate battered by a thick, cold flagellum, and an alien vampire gleaming fangs deep into his neck, Dave came harder than he ever had in his life. He could feel the wreath of shadows that joined him inside Kanaya greedily slurp up his ejaculate, massaging them both with its milking. Spent, exhausted, and lacking blood, Dave felt himself carried away to darkest slumber.

 

When Dave awoke, there was no telling how much time had passed. The lights in Rose's room had been dimmed, and he had not only been undressed but moved to Rose's bed. Both Kanaya and Rose herself had joined him under the covers, naked as he was and sandwiching him between them. His ectosister's broodfester throes had passed like they always did, and she had placed his head against her naked chest. He could hear her heart beat. Kanaya lay at his back, one leg hooked around his and her arms holding him around the waist. One of Rose's hands idly played with his soft hair. Dave closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could smell the dirt under Kanaya's nails from her gardening on C deck, he could smell his blood on her breath, he could smell the aroma of old books on Rose's hands and the lingering sour tang of her grimdark effects. He could smell their sex, somehow both comforting and terrifying. He shivered.

Perhaps sensing his distress, the two girls huddled up closer to him. With her other hand Rose stroked along his battle-toned thigh.

we are so fucked up

No, Dave, we are perfect, perverse and beautiful.

He breathed deeply, and let sleep take him once again.


End file.
